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5 Things to be Upfront About on a First Date

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Some things (such as you have a slightly crazy ex), can wait a few weeks. However, there are a few things you should never wait until the second date to tell someone
Crush.com on July 2, 2014 - 2:28 pm in First Date, Relationship Advice

It’s never a good idea to tell someone your whole life story on the first date: that would monopolize the conversation, and make you seem self-centered or rambling. Some things (such as you have a slightly crazy ex), can wait a few weeks. However, there are a few things you should never wait until the second date to tell someone, or you run the risk of losing their trust. Getting those things out of the way in the beginning will also free up your mind and conscious to conjure up ways to bring spicy positivity to your first encounters.

#1 You Have Children

Hands down, this has to be one of the most important things to put out there on the first date. A lot of people just aren’t interested in an instant family, and it’s unfair to everyone to spring that on them after they’ve already started to like you. There’s no getting around it: they will have to learn the truth eventually, so get it out in the open by being a proud parent and you’ll likely gain points with your date.

#2 You’re Separated or Getting Divorced, but Still Married

Divorces can be messy, especially if there are assets or children involved. They can take a long time, even years. It’s a delicate situation to address on a first date — but it has to be done. Approach the topic delicately and with as much tact as possible, and you might just be in the clear. If the person you’re seeing also has been through a divorce, it will make it that much easier. Make sure you don’t ramble on about how horrible your marriage was, however. No one wants to hear about your ex on a date.

#3 You Have a Criminal Record

Depending on the crime of which you were convicted, this could go either way. You might think it not necessary to bring up on a first date, but it’s really not fair to get too far into a relationship with someone without telling them you have three DUIs, so you may as well get it over with. If you got arrested at a war protest rally, it might make them respect you more. If you have a felony for domestic violence, you might need to figure out a good explanation in advance.

#4 You Have Major Drug or Alcohol Issues

Depending on the crime of which you were convicted, this could go either way. You might think it not necessary to bring up on a first date, but it’s really not fair to get too far into a relationship with someone without telling them you have three DUIs, so you may as well get it over with. If you got arrested at a war protest rally, it might make them respect you more. If you have a felony for domestic violence, you might need to figure out a good explanation in advance.

#5 You’re Bi, a Swinger, or Heavily Into the Fetish Scene

Jealousy is a delicate object. You might become attracted to someone because you think they are open-minded, only to be disappointed when they break it off because they decide two weeks in that your fur suit fetish is creepy and weird. Spare both of you the drama and date people you are sure will be cool with your proclivities, won’t become jealous when you want to date another couple, or doesn’t think you’re sick for liking both girls and boys.

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