Increasing Your Chances of Finding Love Through Online Dating
Online dating sites have been in use for nearly 20 years, and you would be hard pressed to find anyone that doesn’t have firsthand experience with using one or know someone that has. Once an activity shyly kept in the dark, online dating is now a widely practiced and socially accepted pursuit. Joining a dating site is both a convenient and direct way to meet people for those who have a lifestyle or personality that makes meeting potential mates challenging.
A few months ago I joined one myself. I was attracted to the idea of being able to talk openly about relationship needs and desires upon immediate encounter. If the boxes on my mate wish list didn’t all check off then I wouldn’t have invested time in someone who wasn’t a good fit and wouldn’t feel the same distress at being straightforward about our lack of chemistry.
What I realized almost immediately was how judgmental this process was making me towards people who were likely very wonderful and could potentially be a good fit. Broken down into a variety of criteria, I could dismiss and reject with quick critique each user as though sifting through a clearance rack at a clothing store. The only reason I’m not embarrassed to admit this otherwise seemingly insensitive behaviour is because I know with near certainty almost everyone who has been on a dating site has done the same.
So how do you use this goldmine of wonderful individuals to find love when physical and surface traits are the predominant focus of many sites? Here are three tips to approach online dating to increase your chances of romantic success:
1. Read the ‘About’ section first:
This is often the most neglected part of the perusing process but this is a better indication of someone’s personality than their face or height. If you read what someone has to say about themselves, their life, their interests and the kind of partner they are looking for you will feel more of an emotional connection (or not) as opposed to just seeing their face and body and imagining yours beside it.
2. Lower Your Standards:
This may be one of the only times I make this suggestion. Here’s why: most people sift through profiles like they’re going on a scavenger hunt for the best find. You look for the most attractive, impressive and enticing profile and decide that’s the one you’re going to pick. It doesn’t work that way. Consider the online dating process as similar to the task of looking for a new job. Apply to all those you think you would be suitable for and see what ones provide you with an interview. Be willing to give your second or third choice a chance.
3. Imagine Meeting In Person:
When you meet someone in person, numerous senses are heightened, providing a better chance for chemistry to occur. An online profile is one-dimensional, where first encounter chemistry is based on what you see and only a tiny blip of someone’s personality. When someone contacts you don’t dismiss them based on looks alone. Imagine giving them the same consideration as you would had you bumped into them in public.