How to Make Online Dating More Efficient
By Simone Katerine
When I first delved into the world of online dating one of the first things I noticed was how time consuming it can be. Not going on the actual dates - that’s the fun part - but the process that’s actually spent online, sifting through messages, looking at profiles and making connections with people before you meet in person. Online dating can be a total time suck - but, only if you let it be. After almost giving at one point, I came up with a few strategies to help make the online dating experience more efficient, so you can focus most of your energy on actually going out and meeting people.
1. Set a designated time for online dating
Set aside 30 mins to an hour every day (or a couple of times a week) to login to your online dating account. For example, if you go to Yoga on Tuesdays from 8-8:30, make the timeslot between 8:30 and 9pm your designated online dating time. This will help prevent online dating burnout that comes from feeling like you’re “always online” and allow you to schedule your online time around your favourite activities.
2. Go in with a game plan
It’s easy to browse or “graze” aimlessly when you’re online. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has logged into their online dating profile, started looking at people’s profiles and before I know it, an hour has passed and I have still haven’t replied to any messages or set up any dates. This is why it’s important to start each online session with a strategy in mind. For example, I’ll dedicate the first half of my session to answering any messages I have and (hopefully) setting up a date or two. I’ll then leave time at the end of my session to check out who is new on the site and send out 2-4 messages to people who look interesting. If I don’t have time to message them, I’ll save them to my favourites and come back to them the next day if they’re still online.
3. Observe the 3 -4 message rule
If you’ve exchanged 3-4 messages with someone you’re interested in and they haven’t asked you out or mentioned meeting up - ask them out! Remember, you’re looking for dates not pen pals. If you’ve exchanged 3-4 messages with someone and you still aren’t sure whether you feel comfortable meeting them for coffee in a public place, chances are your intuition is trying to tell you something - ie. that they aren’t a good match for you.
4. Don’t use the “chat” function
In my opinion, nothing is a bigger waste of time than chatting online when you could be chatting with someone over coffee. When you’re face to face you can observe body language & gage whether you have any chemistry with this person - this is much harder to do in a chat bubble. Disable that chat function. You’ll thank me later.
5. Don’t take it personal if someone doesn’t write you
This will probably ruffle a few feathers, but I would much rather be ignored than rejected. After all, sometimes it’s kinder to just say nothing at all. If I can tell right away that someone is clearly not my type, I just won’t respond to their message. I’d rather not waste my time and someone else’s time making small talk (and possibly leading them on) when I know I’m not interested. I also don’t take it personal
About The Author
Simone Katerine is a writer, blogger and Nationally syndicated sex & relationship columnist. She's the author behind the cheeky and irreverent blog Skinny Dip and the editor & social media manager at the award winning blog No Strings Attached. When she’s not writing about everything to do with sex, dating and relationships, she loves to wander around her town with a large cup of coffee in hand, in search of the next great story. You can follow her on Twitter and Facebook.