Ordering Pizza Is Like Choosing A Man
Growing up when you heard pizza you thought of two things – cheese and pepperoni. You liked one or the other. If you didn’t like the pepperoni your Mom would make you pick them off and put them on your sister’s pizza and move on. Simple. Growing up you thought dating would be the same way. A guy liked you, you liked him, and you’d date. Simple. Ordering pizza is like choosing a man.
Then… you actually grow up (or in many cases they just keep adding candles to your cake, but your mental state doesn’t change). With adult life, you quickly realize, ordering a pizza is like choosing a man. You’ll try several different kinds, until you start reordering the same one.
You now have your choice of
Stuffed Crust Pizza: we all know the man. The one who thinks he has a body of Gerard Butler in 300, yet in all actuality he has the body of Kevin James, but trying to fit into a Spartan skirt.
Thin Crust Pizza: the Matthew McConaughey in 'Dallas Buyers Club' guy.
Deep Dish Pizza: the guy that's into poetry and perhaps you’ve even started a book club with him.
Or, lastly (and my fav)
Hand Tossed Pizza: The one that looks hand molded. His arms are nicely toned with a six pack and that V cut... you know what I’m talking about ladies!! He is fashionable, yet not tooooo fashionable; yeah that hand tossed pizza.
Now that you’ve gotten the holder of the goodies down, you now have your choice of sauce – most women go for the
Traditional & Simple Tomato sauce: the he pays for dinner and likes to change his Facebook status into “In a Relationship” kind of guy; yet you could change it up and go
Bold & Spicy with a barbeque confidence and spontaneity
White Sauce: sophisticated and chic but faulting on the side of bland
Lastly, choose those toppings girl… it’s not all extra cheese or pepperoni. You have options now! Explore them.
Pineapples, jalapenos, chicken, olives, mushrooms, banana peppers; aka, piercings, tattoos, guys with kids, guys with an overbearing mom, guys all about their jobs, guys without jobs, the hustlers, the ballers. Either way it’s your choice.
Explore a few options before you start a reorder. Maybe a thin crust with barbeque and a few tattoos might be your specialty pizza! We want to hear from you - comment below with your perfect pizza!