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Does He Really Want A Relationship?

Jessica Kohl on March 25, 2014 - 5:03 pm in Dating Tips, Relationship Advice

You’ve been dating a guy for awhile, and you think it’s going well, but you’re just not sure what he’s thinking. Is he as hot for you as you are for him? Is he in this for real, or just playing along? Does he want this to last, or can you expect this one to end in heartache, like so many others?

If you know how to read the signs, then you can discover how to decode what men are thinking behind their facade. Does he really want a relationship? Check out this list of tips, and see how your man stacks up. 

1. He Uses “I” Instead of “We”.

If your guy is thinking of being with you long term, then he’ll talk in terms of “We should try that restaurant” or “Maybe we could do a weekend in Vegas”. If he mostly talks about things in the singular instead (“I’d love to check out that new club”), it’s a sign that he’s not picturing you as part of those plans.

2. He Has A List of Excuses.

Maybe once in awhile it’s true that he needs to work late, or his car is in the shop. Stuff happens. But if you start to see a pattern of excuses he makes to blow you off, cancel a date, or show up late, then there’s a potential problem. If he was really into you, he’d find a way to make it work, instead of finding excuses.

3. No PDA. 

This isn’t about making out on a park bench, or getting hot and heavy in a restaurant booth. It’s about the natural touching that shows signs of affection. If he loves you, he’ll want to give you a hug when you meet, a quick kiss on the cheek, or put his hand on your back to guide you through a doorway. If he’s avoiding any personal contact in public, he’s probably not that into you. 

4. Talking To His EX

Does he still call up his ex for long, rambling conversations? That’s a sure sign that he’s not completely over her, which could be the kiss of death for your relationship. If he’s divorced with kids, he may need to stay in contact with the ex for co-parenting reasons, but he shouldn’t be enjoying those conversations too much.

5. You Never Meet His Friends.

When a guy is in love with you, he’s proud of you, and can’t wait for his friends, family, and the whole world to see what a wonderful woman he’s with. If he’s reluctant to introduce you to his friends and family, then he’s either embarrassed about them, or embarrassed about you. 

6. You’re Not On His Facebook

People post photos of their lives on this mega social media site, and this is where you regularly find out what’s happening with your friends - the new job, the new dog, and the new hairstyle. If he’s planning to be with you, then he’ll post a picture of the two of you together, somewhere smiling and having fun. If you don’t see yourself on his Facebook, then it could mean he’s still playing the field.

It may be disheartening if you discover some telltale signs that he’s not really into a relationship, but it’s better to read those signals now than be blindsided by a breakup later. On the other hand, if your man passed the test with flying colors, then you could have a keeper!

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