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How to Tell When Someone Is Lying To You

Jessica Kohl on March 14, 2014 - 5:16 pm in Dating Tips, Relationship Advice

A Few Ways to Spot the Lie

I question if there is  one thing that can damage a relationship as fast as a lie?

How can you tell if your partner is lying to you without going through their phone, pockets, or purses? Pay attention to the person. Learn body language; is the person keeping eye contact with you or looking away? Is the person nervous and not keeping their story straight or offering too much detail? Is there motivation for lying? Excessive body movements are also  a telltale sign of.


Body language can be the key to spotting a lie. How does the other person stand or sit when speaking to you? Are they relaxed? Do they maintain eye contact with you? Are they fidgety or tense? An honest person will be more relaxed and answer questions easily. They will maintain eye contact and position themselves in front of the person with whom they are speaking. Liars will avoid eye contact and or hide their eyes. They will also over emphasize eye contact  to try and "prove" they are not lying. They may show signs of nervousness and angle their bodies away from the person with whom they are speaking. They may even fidget and look away more or laugh extensively and at inappropriate times. Additionally they will position objects between themselves and the on they are lying to to act as a buffer for their lies.

If there are no objects they may repeatedly touch their mouth or face.  If is a physical sign of trying to cover the truth which might escape from their mouth. 

Eye contact is also a key component in spotting a lie. Most honest people have no problem keeping eye contact with the person they are talking to. The person that tells a tall tale may have wandering eyes. Pay attention to where they are looking in order to recall a story. Research shows that visual cues can be assessed to give away lies vs truth.  Up and to the left signals that they are accessing visually constructed images versus up and to the left which indicates the subject is accessing visually remembered images. However a left handed person would have opposite meanings for direction.  Constructed images are another way of saying they are creating the answer.

 The lack of detail or the overly large amount of detail can be a sign that someone is lying to you. Avoidance of questions or the repetitiveness of answers can be a sure sign of lies. Stammering and stuttering can also be a sign that someone is lying to you. Secrecy, making excuses, evasion of answers to questions, and being fidgety are all signs that one is being lied to.

Rely on Intuition.

If someone thinks they are being lied to then more than likely they are, however, one must consider the times we live in as well. With information readily available, a person may be thinking they do not want to give too much away all at once; personal information can be private and well protected by the person being asked. Nervousness may come from natural responses to questions that may be too personal for the comfort of the other person. Eye contact is important in any form of communication setting except the written word. If a person cannot maintain eye contact or are keeping their eyes hidden, then they are most likely hiding something.

Consider whether the "lie" is something of importance and your level of relationship with the person before jumping to conclusions. It may be that you are early in the relationship and they do not feel comfortable disclosing information with you yet. Either way lies are an unhealthy, selfish, and immature method of communication. Your partner needs to respect you as an adult enough to deal with the truth and make your own conclusions and decisions.  

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